Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
