Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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