you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
