What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
