i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
