sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
