I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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