So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
