we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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