Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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