You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
