I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
