Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
