He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
