so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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