Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
