we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
