I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
