I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize