If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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