I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize