yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
