yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
