Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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