you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
