I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
