new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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