what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
