I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
