**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
