Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
