Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
