Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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