How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
