Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's just like the Real World with babies
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
