he wants to bone in the snuggie
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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