I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
