the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
