A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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