So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
