I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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