im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
