what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
