i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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