I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she smelled like a LAN party
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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