Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
