Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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