I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?