if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.