my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?