At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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