I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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