My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You took a bar mat shot.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize