East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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