I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
