your thong is hanging out like whoa
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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