he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
