his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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