i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
