Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
being pregnant is like rehab
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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