Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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