He kissed a someone with a penis
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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